008. It’s Safe to Come Home: Rest Beyond the Dissociation

# 008. It’s Safe to Come Home: Rest Beyond the Dissociation

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Welcome to Return to Rhythm, A sacred space for the woman who's been holding it all, but somewhere along the way stopped hearing herself. This is your invitation back into the quiet, back into your breath, back into the parts of you that never needed to prove, perform, or hold it all together. I'm Farrah Channel Inner Voice facilitator and emotional liberation guide.

I hold space for high functioning heart led women who've lost themselves in the giving to soften, to unravel, and to remember the truth buried beneath the busyness. Here we slow down, we ask better questions, we listen inward, and we begin again, not from pressure, but from presence. Each week you'll receive channeled meditations, truth transmissions, or sacred reflections designed to help you return [00:01:00] to your rhythm and rise in your own divine timing.

There's no rush here. There's just your truth waiting to be heard. Let's begin.

Hello and welcome back to Return to Rhythm. I am so happy that you are here with me today just in the nick of time for the holiday season. It's going to be a Christmas time, a New Year's here in the US, and I am. Ambivalent about it. I'm not a big holiday person, but I am looking forward to being with my kids, still be home for two weeks and being with some family and just really enjoying our time together because that part is the most [00:02:00] precious to me.

I could care less about the gifts and all of that. I just enjoy the food, the company, and we love to do a puzzle every year. I have not limited just to Christmas time anymore. It's kind of become my new favorite thing to have just a laying around so that I'm not on a screen all the time, and it's really good for your brain to do puzzles.

So I really, really enjoy doing those. I'm looking forward to doing a new one. There's just lots of. Peace and ease to look forward to in the next few weeks, and that's something that has kind of inspired this week's episode. What wants to come forward is all about taking time for yourself and taking time for yourself without disassociating, and there is this false [00:03:00] rest.

That we've been taught, we've been taught that certain things are equivalent to rest, to taking care of ourself, but they're not actually nourishing us. We are numbing out instead of nourishing. ~~So ~~I want you to think about the times where you're like, oh, I just need a, a night to relax in the bath with some wine.

Yes. That is good in some ways. And it does relax you in some ways, but it's also a means of disassociation. The rest ~~that ~~I am talking about is really going inward. It's really taking time to get to know yourself, to sit in the quiet and be with whatever is ready to come up. And a lot of these patterns that we have been conditioned to [00:04:00] believe are rest are just methods of disappearing, of checking out.

And they're not actually things that restore us that are life giving. They're actually not bringing us back into that rest and digest state. It's actually a way of freezing or fawning in our nervous system response.

Things that we see in our reality are a lot of times things that we label as self-care, but it's not actually bringing us home to ourselves. And we believe that we have to work so hard to earn this rest, to earn this so-called self-care and disassociation.

But what we actually need is to take time for ourself in a whole [00:05:00] new way and not just the advertised or conditioned way that we determine self rest, self-care to be

when we have been conditioned from an early age to care for others and. Really take care of everyone else. Disassociation is the only way we've somewhat found rest. I know I used to disassociate a lot in the past. It was a lot of tv. It was TV while I was trying to fall asleep. It was baths with music. It was.

Working out over and over and over again, even though my body was in fight or flight. So it really wasn't actually doing me any favors. If my body is in that stressful [00:06:00] high cortisol state all the time, working out a lot is just going to exacerbate that. So like, yes, it's labeled as self-care taking care of your body, but if your body is in that state, it needs true rest.

True. Stillness.

But a lot of times what comes up with that when we're actually still, when we're not sitting in front of a TV or doing all of these things that help us check out, there's a lot of like guilt and shame that come up with it too. If I'm going to take some quiet time to myself. ~~I have to do so much to earn it, and ~~I feel guilty because I'm taking away from whoever needs me the most and whatever I'm trying to control.

It takes a lot of courage to just actually be with [00:07:00] yourself.

And there's also a layer of fear that's going to come up within us when we decide that we want to do this work, that we want to deeply care for ourselves and meet ourselves maybe for the first time without all of these layers that we've been functioning from. There is a fear there because when it's quiet.

It's going to bring up a lot of things that we don't want to face,

so of course we're going to avoid it.

We don't need more escape. We need to return to ourselves.[00:08:00]

This inner stillness in society has probably been associated with laziness, but it's not lazy to just be still. It's intimacy with your personal truth, your inner truth. It's getting deeply connected to that inner wisdom that lies within you.

And I'm sure there's a lot of you out there where your alone time looks like Mommy hiding in the bathroom for an extra couple of minutes because she's completely overwhelmed. It looks like the friend who is zoning out on the couch with a pint of ice cream and telling her friends that she's sick because she just can't handle any more social interaction.

~~That leaves her feeling depleted and not nourished. And not nourished.~~

[00:09:00] It looks like the wife who has been pouring herself into her husband and getting a lack of connection and return.

When we are alone with ourselves. It is this beautiful, sacred thing. It's moment where we are fully honoring ourselves just as we are with whatever comes up.

And being alone with yourself is not the problem. It's just forgetting how to listen. That actually hurts

~~in these moments of with being alone. ~~In these moments where we're alone, we can start to uncover what our own desires are. What our deep longings are, but when we're always [00:10:00] placating and pleasing others and saying yes all the time, and out of fear, out of scarcity, out of not wanting to be alone, not wanting to be abandoned, those desires, those longings are put so far down that we can't even hear them anymore.

And if we're always going a million miles a minute, we can never slow down enough to hear it. So it's going to leave you depleted. ~~It's going to leave you dis dis. It's gonna leave you breadcrumbs. ~~It's going to leave you with not much energy. It's gonna take away from your life force.

It leaves you running on fumes, zoning out, overthinking, over, analyzing, outsourcing [00:11:00] all of your desires beyond you. You're looking outside of yourself. You're looking outside of yourself for whatever it is that you desire. ~~And what everyone else thinks of what you should do. ~~If you actually take this time to go within, be in the quiet, you can hear those things that have been stuffed down, those desires, those longings.

~~We will come back~~

and I think we're also afraid of what is going to come forward in these moments because it's gonna force us to look at the people in our life that are no longer in alignment. ~~It's gonna allow us, ~~it's going to allow us to see who is draining us. Who is. Taking from us and not giving it back ~~because that's the case, ~~because that's the [00:12:00] case with a lot of people pleasers over givers.

We pour into everyone else but ourselves just to protect ourselves and keep ourselves safe.

You cannot reclaim your truth if you never, ever slow down enough to hear it, and the only way that you can hear it is if you get quiet.

Self-reflection is really how you rebuild and reconnect with yourself. It's where you can really tune into what is your true yes, what is your true no?

If you need rest, can you [00:13:00] communicate that without fear?

~~Without believing that everything is going to fall apart around you if you say no~~

when you tap into these desires.

You can really ask yourself, what do I actually want? Not what's safe, not what's expected or approved of by anyone else, but what do I deep down want? And the answer may surprise you. It may be something that you had no idea lived within you. I had no idea that doing a podcast was a desire that lived within me until I did the deep work of peeling back all of the layers, all of the conditioning, [00:14:00] resetting my nervous system.

Tuning into my human design and how I actually express in this world.

Until I did all of that work, I wasn't able to uncover this desire that lived within me, this gift that was an innate gift that lived within me. I had to go into find it. But if you had asked me seven years ago, eight years ago, 10 years ago, whenever podcasts were coming online, that was never in my reality of some goal that I was going towards or working towards achieving.

It was never. Even in my awareness, because I had all of these patterns, all of these beliefs, all of this conditioning on top of that to where I couldn't access it, [00:15:00] the only way I've been able to access that desire that lived within me was going within, was getting, still was getting quiet, meditating, doing breath work.

Really utilizing these tools that I have now. I have filled up two full journals over the last few years with inner voice journaling and self-reflection and going within, because this really became such a priority for me, knowing who I am, what do I desire? How do I want to live the next 40 to 50 years of my life?

Do I want to live it for others and ~~what, ~~how they perceive me or do I want to live it for me and what I want to call in? I'm probably gonna be here for a very long time. The longevity in my family is wild. I have [00:16:00] grandparents and great-grandparents that live to their late eighties and nearly a hundred.

I have probably 50 more years left in me. Do I want to live this life with a dysregulated nervous system, people pleasing, overgiving, and completely burnt out. What do you think that that is going to cause? It's going to cause a lot of disease. It's going to ~~co ~~cause a lot of stress and overwhelm and exhaustion.

But by doing this inner work that I have spent my time doing over the last few years. I have created the life experience that I desired because I was willing to take time for myself because I decided that was a non-negotiable. And you know what? No one in my family ever judged me for it. No one ever made me feel bad for it.[00:17:00]

They have benefited from it because the way I show up with my kids, with my husband, with my parents is a completely ~~di ~~different energy than it was years ago.

The connections that I have formed with people now versus the connections that I formed from the wounded place are completely different. They are life giving. They are so rich and so beautiful, and there is so much love. There's so much love available to us when we do this work, when we take time for ourself,

when you shift from doing to being. You are changing your frequency and tending to yourself is [00:18:00] not a selfish act. You are literally repairing your system, your nervous system on a cellular level. You are going in and reprogramming your brain. You are creating new neural pathways in your brain and changing the patterns in your life.

So how can you allow yourself to pause without apology knowing that you are improving yourself on that level? I don't think a glass of wine in the tub is going to give you these type of results. It's just gonna get you through the day or the week. What if this changes ~~your, ~~the entire trajectory of your life?

There is so much magic that returns when you give yourself the space for the real you to breathe again.[00:19:00]

So now I just want to take a few minutes together where we are not going to disappear from life, but we're going to come back into your body. Back into your breath and see what's been quietly waiting within you. If you are in a place where you can maybe spend five to seven minutes with me gently returning to yourself, that is great.

If not, you can come back to it later, whenever feels good to you. Or if this just doesn't feel aligned for you right now, that's okay too. You can leave the episode here and I'm so glad you spent the time that you did with me. But if you really are craving some time, some rest, a few moments just for you to go inward, this is the space for you.[00:20:00]

So I want you to just take a few moments to settle in. I want you to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. Really stretch your body, shake out your shoulders. ~~Whatever you need to do to settle into the body,~~

you can close your eyes. If it feels safe, maybe bring one hand to your heart. One hand to your lower belly and just breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth

again, in through the nose and out through the mouth.

As you continue breathing, can you notice your body? [00:21:00] Not trying to fix it, but just feel it.

Can you notice where the tension lives? Is it in your neck and shoulders? Do you feel tightness in your jaw? Tightness across your forehead where we hold a lot of judgment, tightness in your hips, where our safety lives.

Do you have anywhere in your body that feels spacious? Is there an openness in your belly, openness in your heart? Where is there space in your body? Can you take a moment just to notice it and feel [00:22:00] it?

~~Notice the rhythm of your breath.~~

Notice the beat of your heart. Can you feel it thumping? The natural rhythm that it has.

You don't need to do anything. You have full permission to be here to rest without guilt. We are just taking a moment to witness your body right here. Right now. There's nowhere to go. There's nowhere to be. We are just here witnessing you with and being with whatever is present.[00:23:00]

Let's take a moment. And just ask the body,

what have I been avoiding feeling?

Allow the body to bring that forward. It's safe and ready. What have I been avoiding feeling?

Continue to breathe and through the nose and out through the mouth,

and just notice if anything arises, if any feeling comes to the surface. It is coming up because it's ready to be witnessed because we are allowing the body to show us what it [00:24:00] needs.

What have I been longing for in silence? What desires live deep within me that are ready for me to see them?

To acknowledge them and to bring them into the light.

Just ask your body. It has all of the wisdom you could ever desire. We are just here witnessing it. What have you been longing for?

It could be to sing on a stage. It could be to write a book. It could be to paint a painting, or it could [00:25:00] just be more peace. What are you longing for?

Where have I disappeared? From myself,

~~What have I been, what have I been?~~

Is there anything that I have been ignoring that is causing me to disappear, to hide? To mask.

We are just asking questions and the answers don't have to come now, but if the body wants to share it with you, allow it, it's safe. This is just a moment for you.[00:26:00]

Continue to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth,

just relaxing into the body even further, allowing your awareness to drop down, down, down, deep, down into your belly.

Where all of these answers lie.

And now what is the one thing I deeply desire? Not for approval, but for me. Can you ask that question? What is the one thing I deeply desire? Not for the approval of others, [00:27:00] just for me.

Just allow it to come to the surface and if there's any emotion in the way that's not allowing you to hear the answer, allow it to arise. Allow the body to show you where it lives.

All of our desires are lying dormant within us until we acknowledge that we're ready to unearth them.

They're just artifacts waiting to be uncovered.

The only tool you need to unearth them is your breaths. And taking the time for yourself to [00:28:00] reconnect with your body.

What does your inner voice want you to know ~~to ~~today? What does it want to share with you? Even if it's just one word, if it's one. Image that you get in your mind. If it's one sensation, what does your inner voice want you to know today?

Allow the wisdom to come forward in its own time. There's no rush.

And if [00:29:00] you're still processing emotion, that's okay too. Just allow it to flow and stay with it until you feel. Like it's released,

your body will relax. Your shoulders will ease and drop down. Your jaw will release.

You'll just begin to soften into your body.

If you've received a message from your inner voice, take a moment to express some gratitude towards it. Show it some love. Thank it for coming forward today just to give you some wisdom that you can take with you into your day.[00:30:00]

With every exhale, you can let go of what isn't yours,

let go of the pressure, or let go of the mask,

~~and with every inhale. And with every inhale, ~~and with every inhale, come back to the self underneath the survival, the self that doesn't need to prove the self, that just knows.

Just breathe. Allow yourself to rest. Allow yourself to remember. Allow yourself to reclaim,

to close out this [00:31:00] meditation. We're gonna bring both of our hands to our heart and say thank you. Thank you for choosing yourself in this moment, for being brave enough to come home.

For reconnecting with that part of you that has been quiet for far too long. When you're ready, flutter your eyes open. You can gently bring some movement back into your body. Maybe move your fingers, your toes if you need to stretch or yawn.

~~You are here, your whole in your home.~~

If you enjoyed this episode, I would so love if you shared it with a friend. And thank you so much for being here today. The wait list for Reclaim is still open. If you are [00:32:00] interested in working with me one-on-one for eight weeks. It is a sanctuary for people, pleasers, peacekeepers, and over givers who are ready to reconnect with themselves, remember who they are, and start living from your authenticity.

~~Your true self without the mask, ~~without performing, without having to be the strong one that holds it all. If you're interested, I would so love to have you in this space. The doors are going to open mid to late January, and I am so excited for those of you who are going to feel called to come in and join me.

It is going to be the most beautiful experience and I cannot wait to share it with you. And with that, I'll see you in the next one.

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