003. She Just Needed Me: A Timeline of Remembering Who I Am

# 003. Return to Rhythm – She Just Needed Me: A Timeline of Remembering Who I Am

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Welcome to Return to Rhythm, A sacred space for the woman who's been holding it all, but somewhere along the way stopped hearing herself. This is your invitation back into the quiet, back into your breath, back into the parts of you that never needed to prove, perform, or hold it all together. I'm Farrah Channel Inner Voice facilitator and emotional liberation guide.

I hold space for high functioning heart led women who've lost themselves in the giving to soften, to unravel, and to remember the truth buried beneath the busyness. Here we slow down, we ask better questions, we listen inward, and we begin again, not from pressure, but from presence. Each week you'll receive channeled meditations, truth transmissions, or sacred reflections designed to help you return [00:01:00] to your rhythm and rise in your own divine timing.

There's no rush here. There's just your truth waiting to be heard. Let's begin.

​ It's so good to be back again with you today for episode three. I really didn't know what I wanted to bring forward today, and I asked my inner voice, my spirit guides, what really wanted to come forward, and I am just setting the intention right now that whatever wants to come through. Is for someone specific and that it's going to help you in some way, and [00:02:00] this is the permission slip you need or something that you need to hear right now.

So I am just trusting that, and that's basically what this whole journey is, is really just about. Developing that self-trust and recognizing that we don't have to look outside of ourselves for the guidance. And here you are listening to a podcast for guidance, but just remember that you have everything within you that you need.

This whole journey is about. Remembering, remembering that everything lies within you. So what I'm being guided to talk about is something from a very long time ago and I wouldn't, I wouldn't really say it's something specific, but it's a time period in my life where I felt something awakened within me.[00:03:00]

And I didn't have the words for it probably at the time, but. I would say back somewhere in the 20 16, 20 17 range. I mean, we're talking seven, eight years ago I had. I gotten this planner, it was like cultivate what matters, or something like that. It was one of those brands that's out there that they have this massive planner and everything is so nicely organized and you can write down your goals and track them and really just be on top of everything.

And I got one of those. And one of the goals that I had written down was. That I wanted to make $75,000 a year that year in my business, as a freelance designer. And so I wrote that down and I had a client that was probably my most consistent client I had multiple at the time, but I had [00:04:00] one

that I ended up putting on a I mean, it was probably the most money that I was guaranteed to get every month from one client yet it was the first time this had ever happened, and so, you know, I was so excited about it.

You know, this is what success looks like, right? This is what success looks like. And I was so grateful because I am working for myself. I don't technically have a boss to answer to. I'm the boss and, I was able to be home for my kids. I could take them to school and pick them up and, they were little and, in elementary school at the time.

And so I had time to learn how to cook better meals and really take care of myself and time to walk my dog and all of these things that really started to become really important to me. I had time to move my body and I really had those things that over time I realize are extremely important to me and

[00:05:00] high on my value list, they're the things that I define as freedom to me. Not having to commute to a job, not having to sit in traffic every day, not having to go in if I don't feel well. It was this awesome opportunity to appreciate, hey, I get to stay home if I don't feel good. I don't have to go anywhere. It's just me here. And I worked with this client all year in addition to my other client.

And I ended up making like $80,000 that year. I mean, it was beyond my goal and. I was so miserable. Again, this was another instance of completely burning myself out. This client would ask for things with the fastest turnaround you could imagine, and towards the end of working with them, they asked me to do a 90 slide presentation.

Within 24 hours, they had promised something to a client and did not [00:06:00] check with me. And expected it to be completed. This is just unreasonable. And I had to walk away from it because there was no respect for my time and the fact that I had a family and the fact that like, as an independent contractor, I should have been in charge of my time.

But there was a total loss in communication and it was just all around, I felt really taken advantage of. And I was so stressed out, but this was what success looks like. This is what success looks like, right? So we've been told, and there was a part of me that came forward around that time, and I was having a conversation with my husband and I distinctly remember so vividly where I was standing in my house in Florida.

The way I was feeling and I looked at him and I said, I just feel like I'm [00:07:00] meant for something more. I just feel like I'm meant for something deeper. This design work, it just doesn't feel like it's meaningful, just making something look nice, it just didn't feel like it was touching a part of me that I think was desperate to come out and.

In my mind, I thought, what does that look like, if you do it from the doing place, and think about it from that doing place well maybe I need to go volunteer somewhere, or do something along those lines that felt like I was giving back in some way or doing something.

That felt more meaningful, but that was the only way my mind could picture it at the time. And the wild thing is, is I was in a breath work this week, which has been one of the most transformational things that I have done in the last year is really start to integrate, breath [00:08:00] work, into my stack of things that I turn to when I feel things coming up and to help me process things. And if I want to anchor into a higher frequency, a new way of being and let go of different identities that I felt like I had to hold onto to survive. Breath work has really, really been the key for me.

But. At a certain point in breath work, you get to a place where you are in your, what they call Oracle state. And to me that is really being in your inner voice, like deep into that space, deep into your heart space where you can get a lot of really powerful messages, visions, direction on which way to go.

It's very, very powerful. But I realized in this breath work that it was [00:09:00] me in this moment right now going back and telling her it's gonna be even better than you could possibly imagine. You are gonna move through this with so much conviction and power, and you're going to remember who you are.

It was like I walked up behind her sitting at her desk and tapped her on her shoulder and you just don't know how good it's going to get. All of this is gonna be important in your journey and you don't even know it.

And me going back. To that moment, me understanding how powerful [00:10:00] we are, how powerful we are as creators was so important for me to understand. And I knew these things. I knew that I can go back and comfort, little versions of me. The teenage version of me through these breath works through meditation. It's entirely possible for us to. Walk through timelines when we get to that state where we're not doing, where we're really dropped into our heart space and in our inner voice and in that deep connection with all that is, I knew how possible it was, but recognizing that it was me and I've had me all along, it was just this next level [00:11:00] experience.

And I've had multiple instances of things like this happening, but, but nothing has felt like this. Nothing has felt so full circle. And they say that we go through these seven year cycles and how timely is it right now that this is very close to around that timeframe, like a seven year cycle. And I realized.

Over the last seven years, I am just walking myself back home. I am just remembering who I am. Before all of the conditioning, before all of the trauma, before I felt like I had to be someone else just to survive, just to appease other people.

The thing that showed up for me today was I'm not someone [00:12:00] who's here to be fixed by anyone else. I just needed to remember who I am. And I think that that's so powerful. Don't need to be fixed. We are not something that needs to be fixed. We just need to remember that we are co-creators with the universe and that we are very powerful and that all of the things that are going around, in our head that tell us that we're not, is not our truth.

We do not have to believe every thought that goes through our head. And we don't have to let every emotion carry us away. It can just be energy that moves through us. We are just the vessel that the pain moves through, that the emotion moves through. So just recognizing that we don't have to attach our identity and ourselves [00:13:00] to those things.

We just need to remember who we are.

And we just need to remember that we're safe to be all that we are, that safety lives within us and anything that makes us feel not safe is not us.

That version of me that was so overloaded with work and caretaking and. Just making sure everyone was comfortable, so needed this version of me to go back and comfort her.

She needed that so desperately. There was a part of me at that time that was screaming [00:14:00] internally. I just want someone to help me. And I didn't know that I was reaching out for a future version of me to do that.

Bear with me today has been just an a wave of emotions. But I think it's really important to show that the ones of us that are doing this work that every day looks different. I think we need to see that. I think we need to see that vulnerability that no one has it, all together.

No one has it all together. And what does that even look like? This is what just being a human looks like. We do not have to feel. Good and wonderful and perfect every day. Setting that expectation for ourself is just so unrealistic.

But I just have so much gratitude for that version of [00:15:00] me that everything she went through, because that version of me started to follow breadcrumbs along the way and started to listen to those little nudges and really start to trust herself. And all of those breadcrumbs were leading me to this place that I am in right now, and that it was all for a reason that everything that we move through is a lesson. It's a teaching moment. It's a mirroring. Something went within us that we need to look at and feel all the way through.

Because how beautiful is it that on the other side of me, going back to that memory and feeling those feelings and all of the resentment and anger and frustration that I had built up from that time period allowed me to see the vision that it was me [00:16:00] showing up, planting that seed of feeling like I was meant for something more.

I really feel like the point of this entire episode is understanding why would you even want to do this work? Why would you ever want to do liberation? Work, emotional freedom work, inner voice work, however you want to label it. It's really showing what you gain on the other side of moving through that stuck energy in your body.

What a beautiful gift. To know that it was me looking out for me, that it was future. Me going back and seeing past me and telling her, there is so much more waiting for [00:17:00] you. To me, that is such a gift.

The channeled messages I've received. The messages I've received from loved ones that have passed all of these things that I've gained from allowing my gifts to be recognized and utilized and being open to them.

I could take all of this information that I gain and integrate it into my life and be more present in my life and really be more open to receive, more open, to connect with people on a deeper level.

Because at the end of the day, isn't that what a lot of us want is more connection, more depth, and we're reaching to these physical things to fill that void because we do not have those connections in our life that we're looking for her.[00:18:00]

We all just wanna be seen. We all just wanna be heard. And if you don't have that in your daily life, it can be really lonely. On the inside, it can be really hard. It can make you feel really resentful and inside you're just crying out like I was just wanting someone to help you. But you have to be willing to ask for that help.

And I know it was really hard for me to work myself up to that because I was so hyper independent. I had to do everything myself. I didn't need any help.

I really think that that is something that comes along with. Being a people pleaser and an over giver. I really think that being hyper independent [00:19:00] is, a means of protection.

We have a hard time receiving.

Isn't that interesting? I just received that. When we overgive, we have a hard time. Receiving because that's outta balance, if you think about that, if we're doing something so full force in one direction,

the receiving is not happening and we don't feel safe to be so on guard to give so much of yourself away. And then not be able to receive anything back.

It's a really interesting place to be in [00:20:00] to see how it works. I,

but it's always possible to find those patterns within ourselves. And shift them and say, I'm no longer going to keep going in this direction. I'm no longer going to continue this pattern. I'm not gonna keep it going. I'm going to break this pattern and I'm gonna try something new. I'm gonna rebalance my energy.

I'm gonna be open to give and open to receive equally.

I feel really called to do [00:21:00] a channeled meditation to help you ignite the flame of remembering. Um, so if this feels like something that you would love to try, then stick around for the rest of the episode. I'm just following wherever my inner voice is leading me right now, and this is what I feel really pulled to do.

So if in your, if you are in, so if you are in a place where you can get comfortable, where you can relax, if you're not driving, if you're not in a place where. You can't do this right now, and you want to, you can come back later, but I just want you to be able to be in a place where you can really drop in and soften and listen and tune into your inner voice so that you can remember who you are.

​If you've found a place [00:22:00] where you can get comfortable laying down, seated. in a nice quiet space where you can close your eyes, soften your body, and if you need to really shake out your arms, shake out your hips, do a little bit of movement before you settle in to really just drop into the body,

because that's where we want to be. We want to be in the body and not in the mind right now.

So as we continue, if you feel comfortable, close your eyes and we're going to do a breath pattern that really helps anchor into the inner voice where you will continue to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth throughout this entire meditation.[00:23:00]

And through the nose and out through the mouth,

and as you continue to breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth,

I want you to recognize where your mind is right now. Is it worried about your to-do list? Is it worried about what you have to cook for dinner or when you need to go work out next? What projects you're working on? I want you to imagine all of those things that are running through your mind right now, and I want you to take them and I want you to use your imagination.

To really scoop up [00:24:00] all of these things that are swirling around in your brain, all of the to-do lists, all of the things that your mind is so focused on the doing around. I want you to scoop all of them up, and I want you to imagine that you are at the entryway of your home or wherever you would like to be, and there is.

A backpack sitting by the door, and I want you to unzip that backpack and take all of those things that are swirling around in your brain, and I want you to imagine them floating out of your brain into this bright white light that is floating in front of you. So take all of those thoughts that are running through your head right now and place them into this white light.

And put them down inside this backpack and zip [00:25:00] it up and you can leave that by the door and pick it back up later after this meditation is done, and filter through it knowing that you have the choice of what you want to pick back up once this is complete. So now that you've taken all of those things.

And put them in the backpack. I want you to open that door that is in front of you. It can be your home door, it could be any door. I want you to open this door and I want you to start to walk through it.

And the minute you walk through this door, all of your shoulds, all of your have tos. All of your must do things will cease to exist in this moment.[00:26:00]

So as you take your first step out of this door, you're gonna walk onto a path with all of those things left at the doorstep and just keep breathing in that breath pattern in through the nose and out through the mouth.

And as you walk down this path, I want you to notice how much lighter do your shoulders feel without that weight?

Do you feel like you can move more freely? Can you visualize how clear that path is that you're walking on? It could be a gold road. It could be stone pavers, it could be a brick road. How clear is that for you right now?[00:27:00]

And as you continue down this path,

I want you to keep walking

and as you walk, this path is gonna lead you. Out into this beautiful grassy area,

and you're going to walk through this beautiful meadow covered in flowers, run your fingers through the field, touching all of the pedals. Imagine everything that's been lingering for you right now, just imagining it floating away. And you're just being in this beautiful field full of flowers, smelling them, watching petals float around butterflies, flying, [00:28:00] really savoring this moment of peace.

What does that feel like in your body?

What parts of you begin to soften?

What noise begins to quiet?

Do you feel like dancing and twirling in this field, do you feel like skipping down this path, like a little version of you?

Just notice how it feels to be free in this field.

Notice the sun hitting your skin. Notice how clear blue the [00:29:00] sky is and listen to the birds chirping.

But as you enjoy this moment, you start to hear water rushing.

And as you hear this water, I want you to start walking towards it step by step. Follow the sound towards the water.

And as you keep walking, you notice that it starts to get a little bit more rocky, like you're hiking into a mountain. It's not very steep, but you get closer and closer to the water. It's not strenuous to walk this path, but there's something about the water that is drawing you near it. It is [00:30:00] calling to you.

It's speaking to you. It's really pulling you towards it. Do you know there's a part of you that wants to be near this water? It's like a magnet drawing you in,

and as you walk closer to the sound.

Notice if there's something stirring in you, something you're meant to know in this moment right now.

And as you get closer and closer to the sound of this water. You start to realize that there's a slight cliff with this [00:31:00] beautiful waterfall flowing over the edge,

and it's flowing down into this beautiful pool of water, sparkling in the sun, water splashing around.

Really just be present in this moment, next to this waterfall. There's something magical about it. You really just can't explain it. I, but it's calling to you and it's asking you to put your hand in that pool of water that the waterfall is, pouring into.

And once you put this hand in the water, you're [00:32:00] going to remember, you're gonna remember who you are at your core.

So right now, I want you to take your hand. And immerse it into the pool of water that the waterfall is pouring into and allow your truth to be available to you. Continue breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth, and just listen as your hand swirls back and forth in this water. I just want you to listen.

Remember who you are.

Remember why you're here.[00:33:00]

I, and just be in this beautiful moment.

Hands swirling in the water breeze blowing through your hair, the sound of the waterfall crashing down,

and just listen

to whatever your inner voice wants to share with you about remembering who you are.

There's no rush. You can spend as much time here as you need

and through the nose and out through the mouth,

and just know if it brings up any emotion. It's safe to feel it [00:34:00] right now. There's nothing wrong or bad about any emotion coming forward in this moment.

Your body is just remembering that it's okay, that it doesn't need to hold onto it anymore, that it's safe to let it go.

Because when you know who you are, you know all of the things that you're holding onto that aren't, you don't belong in your vessel anymore. So whatever feels safe and ready to come forward now, allow it, be with it, hold it, and allow it to be transmuted into this water. It is just energy that wants to move.

So allow it to seat [00:35:00] back out of your body, through your fingertips and dissipate into the water

and just continue to breathe, allowing your body to do whatever it needs to do in this moment.

There's no rush. Just stay present with whatever is coming up for you.

You're so safe. You're so held right now.

There is so much love around you supporting you.

Your spirit guides are so proud of you in this moment right now for taking this time to remember who you are.[00:36:00]

And whenever you're ready, express some gratitude to this beautiful waterfall for helping you remember who you are. For allowing you to transmute whatever came forward in this moment, thanking it for everything it gave you today.

And whenever you're ready,

you can say goodbye to the waterfall and know that you can come back to it anytime you wish. Anytime you forget. Anytime. You just need a moment to remember, you can come back [00:37:00] anytime,

but as you depart from this waterfall, slowly make your way back to that beautiful meadow where all the flowers and butterflies are following your path, whatever it looked like. Savoring another moment in this beautiful meadow.

Really taking in the smells, the sounds, the peace you feel here,

and continue down your path

knowing that you're walking back through that door in just a few moments, knowing who you are.

And feeling confident in that.[00:38:00]

Keep making your way back towards the door and you see it appear in front of you.

And whenever you're ready, I want you to take that handle and open it back up. And step back into the room where it all began.

You can slowly ease yourself out of the breath pattern at whatever pace you feel comfortable with.

Really put your hand over your heart, express some gratitude toward yourself. Put your hand over your heart. Express some gratitude towards yourself for really moving through this today.[00:39:00]

And whenever you're ready, you can open your eyes. And

thank you so much for being here with me today. This episode was very unexpected, unscripted, raw and real, and that's what I'm here for, to be as real as possible with you, for you to support you, and I'm so grateful that you're here. I'll see you in the next one.

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